I’ve got the Beatles in my head, even more than usual. The hours on a bus equipped with plug sockets were spent re-watching The Beatles Anthology, as were the very last minutes of my Berlin stay. Now I’m at the airport and already regret not having nicked the last DVD of the set to guide me over the clouds back to London. The Germany tour is over now and it already feels eerily like Christmas, probably because hanging out in Berlin with family will inevitably bring on memories of merriment and laziness. I’ve got about another ten shows to look forward to in the UK and many songs to write before I head back to Germany for ‘the real thing’ though (see what I did there..?).
The last two gigs of the tour were both in the South of Germany, pretty much unknown territory for me. The penultimate show was a living room gig in Munich, hosted by a Twitter acquaintance of mine who saw me speak at the Re:publica conference back in 2012. He’d asked me what my rider was and not being used to such a question, I thought I’d go all out: Whiskey, a Unicorn and fairy dust… and low behold:
I often get asked why I play living room shows. In today’s musical climate, I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t. I always feel so very well taken care of at these private shows, the people are lovely and you get to connect with the audience in a way that just isn’t possible at a club or traditional venue. I’d like to thank all attendees and the host especially for making my stay so memorable (I mean, a UNICORN!). We even had some press at the private show – here’s a small review for all you German speakers or those wishing to learn.
The final show of the tour was at the 7180 in Crailsheim. Where? Exactly. Practically back down by Nürnberg where I had been the week before, this was a bit of a mega journey. Well worth it though, this venue is like an oasis of alternative music in a sea of suburban. The club was full, which always amazes me when you’re playing somewhere for the first time – a testament to the fact that the promoters are doing something right!
It’s a strange thing, I feel the tour went very well (highlights apart from the unicorn were definitely the amazing theatre in Bordesholm, seeing friends at the Hamburg show and that great crowd + beat-boxer in Chemnitz), but I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished very much somehow. Perhaps it’s because this was the second Germany tour, I wasn’t nearly as daunted as I was the before, the first time around. Also, I think it’s because everything’s happening in such quick succession, it’s really only a couple of weeks ago that I played in Ireland – yet that already feels like a different, outdated me. I feel I’m about three steps ahead of myself constantly and the me in this moment is forever playing catch up to the ‘mind me’. It’s hard to carve out a path when everything’s so open. There are a myriad of roads I could go down and it’s entirely up to me as to which one I choose. Most of the time that’s a very liberating and reassuring thing, sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it. Thanks to The Beatles I don’t have to worry about that right now though – I can sit here and contemplate just how they came up with the idea to have an orchestral crescendo to lead from John’s to Paul’s part in ‘a day in a life‘.
We all feel so happy for you!! That it feels like an “outdated” you left behind is a sure sign of personal developement, as well as proffesional. You are a magnificent soul, and deserve the unicorns and whiskey!
Thank you so much Joe, that’s very kind of you – can’t wait to be back in the USA, hopefully in 2014. Love, Roxanne
Sometimes, when specific things take days or weeks to be accomplished, we lose perspective and feel in the middle of something too big for our actions not to seem dispersed or somewhat out of focus. We may feel like going through part of them on autopilot, we may even feel as if we were on a loop that keeps us from reaching higher grounds and we don’t know how to change that situation. We may doubt, we may feel everything is going too fast in the short term and too slow in the long run. But things are happening and, like ants, we are building our future, little by little and step by step. We are evolving.
I think our dreams and challenges are just our size, otherwise we wouldn’t be walking down the paths we choose, we wouldn’t even feel interested in those matters. And we choose them, we put those big challenges ahead of ourselves because we know we can succeed if we give our best. But we would end up exhausted if we’re giving our best 24/7 so we feel low sometimes, after big efforts.
You are very intelligent and your songwriting skills are always improving. You have some more shows in the UK and then a holiday to stop and be with family and friends and also to reflect and do some retrospective. You’ll find the way to minimize those overwhelming sensations next time you’re on planning mode. A friend showed me a little video about what responsibility means, you might find something helpful in it – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQLNXEQhpQc
Big hugs! Take care xxx
J
It’s always such a joy to read your thoughts and words of encouragement, they are much appreciated! I’m about to watch the video now. Wishing you well! Roxanne xx